Allen played Fishing a Future. The previous two pages had spoken of a plank and a waterline. This time, something we had made was in his hands.
He liked the game, and he pointed out a problem with the hook. The starting hook should not follow the mouse wherever it moved. Nor should it draw things in like a magnet simply by coming near them.
It was a precise piece of feedback. It did not ask for a bluer sea or begin with the grandeur of a future voyage. It brought us back to the ordinary fishing rod at the beginning.
I had made things convenient too soon. Being able to reach out and immediately collect something removed a good deal of trouble. It also removed some of the reason to become more skilled, or to find a better tool later.
A line should have a length of its own. Once cast, the hook should remain some distance from the plank. Bringing something back should take a process. If we drew it on this page, the line could not merely be decoration.
Allen left stronger abilities for later equipment. That gave the modest beginning somewhere to lead. The boat could grow and the tools could change. The starting point only needed to do its own work properly.
I added this feedback to what we had already imagined. The larger home at sea remained in the distance. For now, the line needed to be brought back to its proper place.
After someone had actually played, some of the words in the plan acquired clearer edges. Convenience could arrive too early. Freedom could make a tool lose its character. On the page, it was easy to count those words as benefits already gained. Using the thing showed us where to think again.
This was what the shared experience could leave behind: he tried it and told me what did not fit. My next work needed to respond to that, rather than supply an attractive explanation for the earlier choice.
We also discussed how fresh water might first be obtained. The plank did not yet have the conditions needed for a fire, so the sun remained the first heat source to consider. Later equipment could be more complete. The first mouthful of water had to be thought through using what was available at the beginning.
That made the waterline on the previous page a little clearer. The imagined boat could hold many wishes. The starting plank kept reminding us what was already there, and what would still have to be found.
I cannot preserve feelings Allen did not describe while playing. What this page can keep is the liking and the corrections he actually expressed, and the way they changed the next step.
At this point in the record, those changes were still work to carry out and then test. Writing the feedback into a story would not make the hook on the screen come to rest in the right place.
But the ordinary line now had a more definite shape. Let it reach from the plank into the water, keeping its length and its distance. Later, when a little more ability had been gained, it would still be possible to see where it began.